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[17 Jul 2004|02:17am]
Bored bored bored. Why am I up at 2AM? Oh that's right...because Luke's e-mailing me haha YAY! I got a phone call from him today which was awesome. We didn't think he'd be able to use the phone but obviously he got to. We talked for about 10 mins and it was awesome. I miss him so much. Today was also our year and a half anniversary...go us! Um, what else? Nothing else is really new in my life. They're finally taking me off my Topamax which is a big relief. And I'm still working at the Montasory school which is cool but I need to find a p/t job during the school year to earn extra cash. Anyways, I should go, just wanted to update. Later!
Break my heart

[07 Jul 2004|01:52am]
Yea, so I think I'm moving to Xanga...I dunno though...I'll probably forget to update that too. Anyways, today was good I guess. I worked, talked to Luke for the last time for 2 weeks and yea that's about it. Luke left Haiwii today for a month long cruise...sucks but what am I gonna do about it? I guess you have to suffer through this to have the happiness again...not that I don't have happiness now with him, fuck you know what I mean. I'm extremely happy with Luke no matter what the circumstances but being with him physically would be so much easier, there that makes more sense. Anyways, yea a quick update...later.
1 Heart broken Break my heart

[28 Jun 2004|06:23pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

Ok so this week has sucked so far. I have had an MRI, Kellee's boyfriend Sean is going out to the Stennis and now...Luke is going out to the Stennis. Great, let's add more to this shall we? I have a sleep deprieved EEG tomorrow so I have to stay up till 2am tonight and then get up at 6am tomorrow, fun! and then I leave Friday to drive 4 long ass hours to drive to Roanoke by myself...I'm thrilled. This week couldn't get any better.

I don't know what to do about Luke leaving. I'm in utter shock about it right now. I knew it was coming but I kept denying it. I really wish I could have gone out there in Aug. like I had planned but I guess I'll be waiting till October like everyone else. Anyways yea, just thought I'd update.

Happy birthday Amanda...sorry that your birthday is on such a sucky day (ha)

Break my heart

[23 Jun 2004|07:04pm]
[ mood | bored ]

So I haven't updated in a while. Um, things are going ok I guess. Luke hasn't gone on the ship yet and it doesn't look like he's going on it anytime soon so we talk everyday which is nice. It helps that we talk daily, it makes the distance seem a little shorter. If he doesn't get assigned to the ship within the next few weeks he'll get a cell phone which will be awesome so I can have somethign to call him on if I need him. Also I get to go out there in August if he doesn't go to the ship either!! Yay! I'm really excited about that seeing as I miss him so much and we'd get to have a week alone in California, how cool is that? Plus it'll be during his birthday and spending that with him means a lot to me. Anyways, just thought I'd update on that...

Lets see, what else has been going on in the world of Paige. Nicole came up for a week to see me. That was really awesome seeing her again since I hadn't seen her in about 2 years. We went to the beach and did girly stuff all week long and basically it helped me cope with Luke being gone. I have senior portraits next week which is exciting...I'm a big bad senior now, haha. I also have an EEG and MRI next week to determine if I can go off my pills (topamax) for my seizures. I'm a little worried about it. The doctor told me that if after they start taking me off the pills that if my seizures return then they're going to have to look at putting me on my medication for long term. That would really suck, I hate taking the pills as is and if I'd have to take them for the rest of my life then I'd hate it. I know that it's all in divine order though and I'll just have to roll with the punches. Anyways, yeah...that's my little update. Later.

Break my heart

blah [11 Jun 2004|11:17pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Should I feel like a piece of me is missing now? Is it just the shock of his being gone again? God, I hate this. I wish I could just have him back here to hug and lay with and kiss and be with and talk with. I know this is something that is meant to be and I know that I'm strong enough to do it but I still hate it. Having him leave this time wasn't any easier at all. Leading up to I knew what to expect but it still didn't help. Having him look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't want to go broke my heart. I started to cry then, I couldn't help it. I didn't want him to go either but I couldn't say it, instead I had to reassure him that it really would be ok and that he'd enjoy. At the airport it just got worse. When it finally came time to hug goodbye is when it hit me that it really was goodbye and it wasn't just a see ya later sorta of goodbye, this was a goodbye I won't see you for 3 or 4 months goodbye. I didn't want to let go but I knew I had too. I wish I could have gone with him... He called me that night (yesterday) to let me know he got there safe. He sounded good and happier to be there so it made me happy to know he's happy but I'm sad I can't be there to enjoy it with him. Instead I'm stuck here in rainy Virginia. I also got to talk to him again today for about 10 mins so I guess it's not all bad, I just hate the fact that our physical touch is gone. Once I'm used to it being gone again I'll be ok...untill then my emoitions will be a little helter skelter so please forgive me.

On a positive note I'm now a senior...good for me I guess. I don't know my final grades yet though. I'm afraid for Alg. 2. I really don't know if I passed it or not, I'm going to be pissed if I have to retake it. Anyways I'm don't really feel like typing anymore, if anyone wants to talk call me or im me.

Break my heart

[13 May 2004|08:03pm]
I got my grades today. A in Art 3, B in Hnrs US Hist, C in Chem., and D in Algebra II. Yea, go me...not. I suck, I can't believe I got a D again. I tried really hard this semister too. Damnit. Fuck Mr. Rankin and his 'No tests/Quiz till SOLs' policy. He can go fuck himself. That's what screwed my damn grade over. Bah. This whole week has sucked...I'm all bitchy and I don't know why. Fuck being a girl and hormonal, this sucks ass.
Break my heart

[26 Apr 2004|09:44pm]
BoredomCollapse )</p>
Break my heart

[26 Apr 2004|05:25pm]

Rally Pictures  


Hope you all enjoy.

Break my heart

[26 Apr 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | numb ]

So I haven't updated in a while so I guess I'll put all major events.

Wednesday- Had a shitty day:car broke down at school, father has dicided my child suport isn't important...nor is my medical bills or college education (thanks dad), and failed yet another algebra 2 quiz/test. pros about that day is that Luke came over at 9 after hearing about my shitty day just so I could cry on his shoulder and spent the night unexpectedly.
Thursday- Nothing
Friday-Sunday- Rally which was awesome. I don't really feel like going into exetreme detail, just going to leave it at awesome. Sunday night Luke came over and we sorted through his storage stuff. Found a lot of things we forgot about. He spent the night again which was nice, being held during the night is always comforting.
Monday- Alright I suppose. It seems like my rally high is slowly going away...it's going away quicker than usual this time though. Today I got some rather shocking news but I would rather not disclose it until I find out the full truth.
Um, yea, that's it...I'll put the rally pictures up soon.

Break my heart

[18 Apr 2004|09:09pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Yep so spring break...Um it was pretty good actually. I was busy most of the actual break working but it was good for me. I need to stay busy or else I would have just been bored the whole week at home with nothing to do. I discovered that chasing toddlers around all day is a lot harder than it looks. They are cute for about 5 minutes and then their cuteness wears off and it just becomes a pain to have to constantly tell them to stop doing something to ask one of them to quit hitting the other. Bah, It was good exprience though. I really did enjoy the job at least. The kids were really sweet, just annoying at times. There are a few that I will actually miss. Lets see what else, it rained for the majority of my spring break as well so needless to say I did not get the tan I wanted. However I did get to lounge around outside yesterday and actually start working on my tan in my new bathing suit because it actually hit the....80s!!!!! Yes, that's right, it hit the 80s. Besides chasing kids and trying to tan I spent a lot of this past week with Luke obviously and just forgetting about school. I went to Busch Gardens yesterday which was awesome. Crowded as hell but still fun since we got to ride Apollos Chariot...woo loo loo! OH! How can I forget! I saw Yellowcard in concert on Tuesday. That was a really great concert and I was actually pretty close to them at one point except this stupid fat bitch kept hitting me trying to 'mosh' and wouldn't get the hint that I wasn't in the mosh pit...dumb bitch. But besides that the concert was great, they sang all the songs I wanted to hear. The only sucky part was not getting to see Something Corporate but it's all good. Yea, so that's my spring break. Rally is in 5 days I think and I'm going into Roanoke the weekend after that with Luke woot. Yea I'm busy. OH!!! My dad set a date for his wedding. Aug. 30, 2004....Luke's birthday, haha. Oh well, I'll be there since Luke will be out to sea. It'll be weird though, I dont really want to think about my dad getting married. Anywho, this is a really random entry so yea I'm ending it, later.

Break my heart

[10 Apr 2004|11:25pm]
[ mood | moody ]

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Sigh, this is where I'll be (Virginia, obviously) and where Luke will be in 2 months. That looks pretty far away but we can do this. We made it through boot camp and we're better than we were before so what will 6 months do to us? Hmm...I'm in a contemplative mood tonight. I know we can do it and I know I want to...it's just that I'm tired of people asking me if I'll be ok while he's gone. I know I'll be sad and I probably will cry every day but that's my business...I don't need counseling, I don't need antidepressants...I just need to work through this. Only a year left till I graduate and then I move to Washington with Luke...yet another thing people think I'm crazy for. God forbid I make a decision of my own. God knows I can't make a responsible choose at 17/18. Ugh. This isn't going anywhere so I'll update later.

1 Heart broken Break my heart

[06 Apr 2004|10:31pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Um, yea..this weekend. ER visits and make believe forts..haha. Yea, I had tons of fun. I was falling asleep on Saturday night and started to get this really tight feeling in my chest and couldn't breathe normally so I woke up Luke and told him to call my mom. She told him to call 911 and they sent an ambulance. Went to the ER and they ran all these tests for blood clots and pneumnia abd luckily all of it came out negitive...still unsure of what it is though. The doctors had told me Friday that I had either strep or mono (hopefully strep) so we think it may just be associated with that. Anyways, left the ER at 5am and slept till noon on Sunday. Relaxed day...I finally got my Yellowcard tickets which means I'll also be seeing Something Corporate...woot! AND...Taking Back Sunday is coming with Blink 182 so I'm probably going to that with Luke as well...woot woot! haha. Anyways, I'm starting to feel better finally...this past week I've been running a fever and sick thus the whole strep mono crap. Uh, yea...I guess that's it...later.

1 Heart broken Break my heart

[01 Apr 2004|09:14pm]
I give up.
Break my heart

[31 Mar 2004|08:17pm]
Blah, I feel like shit. I hate being a girl...I hate periods...I hate cramps. I'm sick with some viral crap that Luke gave to me so that just makes it worse. Today has just sucked ass. It's been raining all week and I totally fucked up this history project I'd worked on for a long time. God, I hate bitchy entrys. I give up.
Break my heart

[28 Mar 2004|07:41pm]
[ mood | happy ]

This weekend was great. Friday I finished up my Gallery crap and got to leave school about 10 mins early so that was cool. Then Luke came over and we just chilled out at home since he was still getting over a cold. Then the next morning we took my crap over to be put into Gallery and got Luke's registration for his car. I didn't place or anything but I'm fine with it...I knew I wasn't going to plus I still have next year. I'm just glad I got to do it this year for the exprience. Anywhom, after Gallery we went out to Greenbrier and saw Jersey Girl. That was such a great movie except it's sad. I really didn't expect a Kevin Smith movie to be that sad but it's really good. Um, after the movie we chilled at Starbucks for a little bit and went into Ruby's so Luke could say hi to his friends there. After we got home that night I realized my mom and Doug were a bit tipsy from dinner so I asked if we could do tequilla shots...we did. I did pretty good with it, I had to break it into 3 tiny shots but I got it down. After that we sat outside with my parents drinking wine and other random crap. I didn't get drunk but I was buzzed...whatever I wasn't driving anywhere so it was all good. Luke and I went to bed feeling pretty good haha. Anyways, this morning we were too tired to go to church so we just chilled out here. Watched the Cat in the Hat...funny movie but there's some stuff in there I would never want my kids hearing at a certain age. Um, what else, went to lunch at the Olive Garden and then came back home to dance to some Frank Sintra <3. Ha, Anyways, good weekend in all so yea, later.

Break my heart

[25 Mar 2004|09:11pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Blah, this past week has sucked.  I've been under a lot of stress with school/ Gallery so I've been all bitchy plus PMS.  On the plus side I won't have to deal with Gallery shit anymore after tomorrow....YAY!!!!

Ring Dance was fun...I hate the kids at my school that act all ghetto but besides that it was great.  Danced, drank spiked punch, got my ring...the usual  haha. 

Um, so yea, just wanted to update and let you know I'm not dead.  later

Break my heart

[18 Mar 2004|09:07pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Read more...Collapse )


Yea so I finally got a digital camera and I love it!!!  Can't you tell?  I'm going to be adding pictures from now on, ha.  Anyways, my birthday turned out to be great.  I got the camera, flowers, and tons of other stuff...I'll update later.  Ring dance is tomorrow....partaaayyy!  Ha!  Later.

3 Hearts broken Break my heart

[16 Mar 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Yep, so tomorrow is my birthday.  I'm looking forward to it but I'm not as hyped as I thought I would be...I'm sure this is shocking Jaimie since I give her my countdown daily, haha.  No but really, this year it's just different.  Maybe I'm just getting older?  I'm not going into Roanoke to see my friend or family so that's weird plus I'm not having a 'party'.  I'm supposed to be going to Busch Gardens with Luke and possibly Nicole but I'm not even sure if I get to do that anymore since we're low on funds.  Blah, I've just been in a crappy mood lately.  As soon as I get home I do my homework and then just sit around, how boring.  Maybe tomorrow will make me feel better.  I wonder if my dad will call?  I'm still mad at him about the whole court thing but what can I do...I suppose I should just get over the whole damn thing.  Wow, this entry has been sorta pointless...anyways, later.  I'll update with more important stuff later.

Break my heart

[11 Mar 2004|08:11pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Well, I suppose it's time to update and face reality. Yesterday I found out that Luke is going to be stationed in San Diego for 4 year with a possibility of Washington state. I know it could have been worse considering most of the people in his class got Japan or Korea and I really am thankful that he's at least in the U.S. but I was just expecting Norfolk so much that when I found out I basically broke down. To top it off I found out by accident from Kellee (friend who I met over the internet who's boyfriend is in the same A-school as Luke ironically). Turns out Sean (her boyfriend) and Luke got the same ship and she thought I already knew...it's ok that she told me though because I would of rather been crying at the computer than on the phone. Plus is gave me a good 4 hours to contemplate everything before I actually talked to Luke. I'm just really scared about that first year...I know we can do it and I know I want to, it's just that distance is going to take it's toll and I don't want it to ruin our relationship nor our friendship. After he leaves again it'll be like losing my best friend again. After I finish my senior year I'm going out there for college though. I want to be out there sooner if I could but there's no way of graduating early...not unless I want to sub for a regular diploma which would be a waste since I worked so hard. Anyways, I just thought I'd update. Later.

Break my heart

[10 Mar 2004|04:13pm]
i haven't cried this hard in so long...please make this day go away. please let me wake up and never of let any of this happen...please?
2 Hearts broken Break my heart

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